I had to write this piece due to some events in the last few days which require that I clarify my purpose for this rare topic. The inspiration to start writing about Managing Your Boss came last year but I didn’t start writing on the topic on LinkedIn until January 2020. I have tried to be consistent on a daily basis even though I missed it on some occasions but I have ensured that people who watch out for the hashtag Boss Management and its nuggets are not disappointed. I am a product of my mentors and the books I read and I will share with you how this journey began.
Charlie Tremendous Jones said that you will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read. This quote is very relevant to me. Some years ago, I was just promoted and I was to be redeployed from the location where I was. On the eve of my departure, my National Sales Manager, Mr. Taofik Alimi called me into his office and told me to sit down. He asked me a simple but sarcastic question: “Are you ambitious?” It was a strange question but I answered hesitantly in the affirmative. He then replied: but you don’t show it. I responded: Sir, I am not a show off. He then laughed and said: then there will be a limit to how far you can go in this organization.
He said to me that it was until he asked about me from my senior colleagues that he got to know about the great things I was doing and my outstanding performance. He said that this particular feedback is also from the Country Manager as he was reluctant to promote me if not that he had to explain certain things to him regards my personality. He told me that day that I must find a way to project my results and I must let people know the things I am doing else it will be buried with no one knowing about it. He said that the works that are not projected will be erased and someone may even take credit for one’s performance. He told me that the world is a cruel place and you must understand the dynamics to survive. I left him that day and I had to reflect on his words.
During those moments of reflection, I stumbled on a series done by Mr. Idy Enang which I used to listen to in my vehicle. There was one where he talked about “office politics” and he mentioned a book: “It’s All Politics” by Kathleen Reardon. I ordered for the book immediately along with another one by the same author [The Secret Handshake]. I consumed those books and it showed me the importance of stakeholder management in the corporate setting and how you need to be emotionally intelligent in order to survive the murky waters of the corporate world.
Prior to this time in other organizations I worked with, I had some strained relationships with two different bosses and by the time I finished these books, I saw that I could have managed the situation better. Some years later after reading these books, there was another strained relationship with another boss. That led me to buying several books on the topic of managing your boss. I read them but unfortunately, it was difficult practicing some of the things I read there and in retrospect, one major thing responsible for this was “Ego”. [I will recommend a book for those reading this: “Ego is the Enemy”] I approached my mentors and I was told that I have mismanaged the situation but as at this time, the situation was irredeemable.
One of the lessons I learnt from one of my mentors is that you must be connected to your boss to be in his good books. One striking statement was that “if you are connected to the devil, when he is doing evil to others, he will do well (good) to you”. You can only be connected when you understand your boss, know his likes and dislikes, understand his preferences and sentiments and know his expectations of you. These are the things that will help you get connected. These experiences led me to study more about human nature and how to relate well with human beings.
The nuggets I share today are products of rigorous studies, experiences and lessons learnt under my mentors. The amazing thing is that there are a lot of people who have reached out to me that their stories have changed in their place of work by the execution of the things I share online. I have shared some of those testimonials on my timeline and there are many more that have reached out to me by phone calls. I have seen many careers destroyed by the inability of subordinates to manage their bosses. I have seen many promotions delayed because of the inability of executives to manage stakeholders. I have seen senior executives humiliated because of ego issues.
Meanwhile, an understanding of what to do with a dose of humility would have averted many of these unfavorable experiences. The Holy Scripture says they know not, neither will they understand hence they walk on in darkness… and due to this, they will die like men and fall like one of the princes. This means when you don’t know, you will not understand and you will live on in darkness and the consequence will be a fall. May you not fall!
My motive is to share with people what I have learnt over the years. My desire is to see people lightened on this subject thereby avoiding the route that some of us took but fortunately we didn’t end up with too many scars. It is obvious that some people do not agree with what I write. I can understand because if you have never been through such situations, you will never know what people go through. My joy is that these nuggets are bringing people back to their path of success. People are getting promoted by applying these principles. My inbox is filled with such testimonies.
It will interest you to know that some of these principles are drawn from scriptures. An example is Prov 29:11 which states that a fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards. This implies that not every moment is fit for your opinion or submission. You must be circumspect to understand when to speak and when to keep quiet. Another scripture says can two walk together except they be agreed? [Amos 3:3]. This is an indication that you must be in agreement with your boss if you want to walk together with him. Now, I see some people ask me, can’t my boss agree with me? It is possible but the boss must be an outlier. He has positional advantage hence you are the one that has to agree with him else the two of you can’t walk together.
On the other hand, some of these nuggets are gleaned from our ancient proverbs. One says the stew that the man of the house does not eat, the woman of the house does not cook it. Why do what your boss does not like? Why use languages that your boss detest? Why come late to meetings when you know your boss values punctuality? What about that ancient axiom: “stoop to conquer”? It means you adopt a position or attitude that is seen as being beneath one’s ability or social position in order to achieve one’s end. That was why I said ego has been the enemy of many. An egoistic man will not stoop to conquer. He will rather die than stooping.
Another maxim states that he who fights and runs lives to fight another day. In my traditional place, it is said that a warrior who does not know when to retreat from war will eventually be swallowed by the war. There is no heroism in fighting your boss. There is no heroism in suffering for something that could have been better handled with wisdom. I learnt many years ago that it is until a mosquito lands on your scrotum that you realize you do not require violence to solve all problems. Many of us lose out with our bosses because of our attitude and approach. If we can work on these two, we will win and live at peace with our bosses.
My desire is to share knowledge with as many people as possible so that we can all enjoy my discoveries and redeem the situation perhaps it is already going awry. And if everything is fine with your boss, you can continue to ensure it remained fine. With the events of the past few days, I was having mixed feelings of shutting down the Boss Management series as it seems some of my readers are misunderstanding my motive. I was thinking perhaps I should focus on the book I am writing and bring it out quickly as it may be valued much more.
However, I concluded by putting out this story so that everyone can understand the background of these series and why I will want to share more with people.
I do hope you will continue to enjoy the nuggets while I bring you more discoveries as the inspiration comes.